Play within a counselling session.
When your child joins me for a counselling session there will be opportunity to access a sand tray, use sounds, drawing, creative activities, clay, movement, messy play, role play and other activities. They will have autonomy over what they play with and how they play.
The session does have boundaries so that your child feels as safe as they can, and I aim to be a safe container for whatever emotions they bring. I will enter your child’s play but always follow their lead, at their pace.
Children do not need to be encouraged to behave in any certain way as I need to see all of them and their process, not just ‘good’ behaviour. It is a safe place to just be who they are.
Play is a natural way to process complex thoughts and feelings, and self-worth is supported through one hour of full attention.
Play allows some integration between your child’s left and right brain activity, (left being the logical, analytical, language, more rigid side and right being creativity, sensations and expression).
Children will naturally move through deeper explorations and lighter play in a session as they regulate themselves. I will trust your child to know where they need to go, respecting their autonomy and agency over their experiences.
Your child will be enabled to indirectly process their emotions through the symbols/resources provided, using their own imagination and knowing. Many stressful life/social situations can be practiced through using symbols and your child can recreate their story if they wish, to make sense of it for themselves. This promotes self-awareness and confidence. Symbols may represent feelings, experiences, situations and people.
Using symbols/toys/resources enables children to be a little removed from the feelings/experiences and prevents overwhelm. Children then feel safer and less pressured. Symbols also bring up feelings that may not be conscious to them. Children do not always recognise their difficulties or why they do what they do but there is always meaning to be found.
It is not always easy for children to sit and talk as an adult might so, through play, they can identify feelings, process life experiences, make sense of their own world and express all of themselves. There is no pressure to verbalise, but this will happen naturally.
Sometimes we might find ways to release emotions without pressure e.g. through movement or sounds and we will practice returning to calm.
In play children can resolve challenges, feel powerful, protect themselves and make more choices than they often can in everyday life. Children make decisions and solve problems in play. They learn to adapt to change and to loosen some rigidity. They communicate their needs which may be linked to anxieties and frustrations.
They can then bring this awareness into outside life.
Children can gain confidence in their abilities to take risks and create change. Trial and error can reduce fear of failure. A chance to invent the rules in play translates to the power to create change in their world. This supports emotional security. Learning that not everything is fixed and adapting to unpredictability.
Children may use role play or puppets to practice relating, collaborating and communicating. Anger and rage can be played out here, as well as fears and anxieties.
Some perspective of the feelings of others may be gained through imaginative play with various characters.
Children can explore their identity within their environment and world and discover who they are, with a focus on their strengths, interests and values as well as well as any difficulties. We will celebrate what sparks them and celebrate this.
My relationship to your child and their play is important as I need to ensure that they feel understood, supported and safe to explore all their feelings. Hopefully a sense of trust in me develops which they can internalise and use to strengthen their attachments. Hopefully they also gain a felt sense of me attuning to them in the moment and this leads to more self-acceptance. They can explore and try out different ways of relating.
I will use reflection to support them but will sometimes choose to not comment if this feels right in the moment. Uninterrupted time gives space for their own process to emerge. The focused attention of the counselling relationship supports confidence and self-esteem.
I won’t interpret your child’s play with them but will follow it closely and show my understanding. I will notice body responses and expressions and bring them into awareness so that feelings are not blocked out.
I may pick up patterns/themes in your child’s play and we will explore this.
I will hold a curious and respectful approach to your child’s wisdom.
I am always happy to catch up with you, answer any questions and discuss themes and patterns in your child’s play. As well as offering some ideas around supporting your child if you wish.
You may notice more powerful emotions emerging at home during the counselling process, and this is natural as children open to their feelings and expressions. Again, I am happy to discuss this.